Keeping her husband’s memory alive through blood donations: Q&A with Stephanie Hilgenfeld

Stephanie Hilgenfeld's husband, Steve, underwent a multi-organ transplant in April 2017. After his body rejected the first transplanted organs, Steve received a second transplant. While recovering in the hospital in November, Steve passed away unexpectedly at just 38 years old, leaving Stephanie to raise their three young children.

“Even though Steve didn’t live to tell his story, I feel it is my purpose to share it and bring as much good out of our loss as possible,” said Stephanie.

Steve and family

During his surgeries, Steve needed over 300 blood products, an amount that struck a chord with Stephanie. She was also told at one point they didn’t have enough blood on hand, and they were working to get more. His surgery wasn’t delayed long, but it still took her by surprise.

The reality of blood not being available is why the American Red Cross launched the Missing Types campaign to raise awareness of the need for new blood donors – and those who haven’t given in a while – to donate and help ensure lifesaving blood is available for patients in need. Right now, the A’s, B’s and O’s – representing the main blood groups – have gone missing from signage, websites, social media and other public-facing platforms to illustrate the critical role every blood donor plays.

This past spring, Stephanie hosted her first blood drive in Steve's memory. We had the privilege of speaking with her about her blood drive and her newfound passion to encourage others to donate.

Had you ever thought about blood donation before Steve needed transfusions?
Yes, I had thought about blood donation before Steve's transfusions, but just never took that initial step to do it. Steve donated blood when he was able, and I always thought I should too. I'm really not sure why I never took that initial step. I think a lot of it was being nervous about what all was involved to donate.

Steve transplant units

How did it feel to know that others were moved to give blood for the first time for Steve? 
It's an indescribable feeling. Seeing good things come from our tragedy helps ease the ache in our hearts. To come and give for the first time, even though they may have been really nervous, is something I'll be forever grateful for.

What was it like to be told that the hospital didn’t have the blood on hand that Steve needed? 
At first I was confused, like how could they run out of blood products? And what happens then? They reassured me he wouldn't go without, they had enough and were working with another Red Cross to get more. I just never thought that would be something that could happen.

Stephanie
#MissingType

What would you say to a stranger who is on the fence about donating blood?
Think of it as a gift – a gift of more time, a gift of making a procedure possible and the greatest gift of all, the gift of life. Don't wait to donate until it affects your or a loved one’s life. And if you're nervous, just remember you're saving lives, how awesome is that?!

Ready to become a Red Cross blood donor and join the #MissingType movement?  

1.  Schedule your appointment at RedCrossBlood.org/MissingTypes or with the Blood Donor App.
2.  Encourage a friend or family member to roll up a sleeve too.
3.  Spread the word!
   -          Take a photo with a selfie sign and post it to your social media along with the message “I am the #MissingType.”
   -          Write out your name with the A’s, B’s and O’s missing on the “blank” selfie sign, and take a photo with it. (Underscores are recommended. Example: _meric_n Red Cr_ss)
   -          Visit RedCrossBlood.org to share a Missing Types message on your social media.